I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
