i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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