dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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