And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
