Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
