I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
