I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
