I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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