thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
