I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
