i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think a kid would responsible me up
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
