Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
