I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
