ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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