I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
