; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
