Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
