There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
