Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
