so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize