I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
