The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
try to milk me bitch
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
