Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize