You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
