MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
