just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You don't make any sense
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