I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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