Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
