the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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