I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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