using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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