Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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