my vag is so smooth its legendary
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
