I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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