I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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