I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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