I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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