i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
