This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
