I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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