her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
