we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
