everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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