Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
