Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
