just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
