her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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