from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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