apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
