just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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