I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I will die if light touches me.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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