she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize