sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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