i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
A+ Viking dick
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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