he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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