the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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