do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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