Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my being single is dangerous.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize