So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
