i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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