If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
