i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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