We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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