Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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