I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
