Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
someone owes me an orgasm
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
