I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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