I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
